Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
COCAINE IS GR8
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
