There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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