Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
