girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
