They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
