Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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