When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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