I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dick very happy bro
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
