So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
