The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
