So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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