Cold hands, warm shart.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize