I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
