you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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