I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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