I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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