I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
