and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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