Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm sobbing to NWA
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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