Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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