just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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