Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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