ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize