i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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