Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Do you have feelings for this penis?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
