It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This is the high leading the old right now
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
