The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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