So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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