Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
