y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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