I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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