Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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