the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
