no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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