I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
