Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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