Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
