There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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