I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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