My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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