Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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