It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize