I'm going to jail i love you
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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