DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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