Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
