Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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