i can't believe i had my finger in that
You're earring is so big in my mouth
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
