If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize