I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
