4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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