I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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