Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
