There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
