Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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