True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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