I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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