I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
this just has baby written all over it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Randomize
