did you get engaged???
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
