Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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