She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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