Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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