feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize