Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
