running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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