We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
