you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Randomize
