You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
