i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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