Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
