How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
